Glimpsing Forget-Me-Nots

not-quite Journaling, 54

5/26/2023: When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my life turned into a series of postponements. Piles of things were dumped on the backburner: writing, business projects, travel, birthdays, anniversaries, other health concerns, emails… I used to think, I’ll do A when B is no longer an issue, or when my body doesn’t hurt so much, or after my sleep is more restful. You know what I figured out? Letting things pile up, in hope for easier days, is a terrible mistake. I’m so behind on everything that I would burst into manic laughter, if I had time for hysterics. But I don’t. So, I’ll just take a deep breath (or 50), do some serious reprioritizing, and get things done as efficiently and promptly as I can. Freaking out about things I can’t control would just be another mistake.

 

5/30/2023: There is a wet rumble in my chest. My nose is full of best-left-undescribed yuck. And while my skull and joints consider the merits of imploding or exploding (my OCD hopes for the latter, less cleanup), my scratchy eyes glimpse the forget-me-not I planted last winter. All isn’t even close to well; but the tiny smile the sight blooms, out of my exhausted self, says that all isn’t exactly bad.

 

6/1/2023: A not-so-helpful health coach manexplained to me that “chronic fatigue is a clear sign that a person isn’t eating healthy, resting enough, or exercising”. Since I had already used all my maniacal cackles spoons for the week, I just stared at him unblinkingly for an unconformably long moment… and then scribbled this poem. Besides, I would’ve hated to waste a proper burst of maniacal cackles on an idiot. I save my glorious cackles for people I like. Muahahahahaha!

- Poets and Storytellers United--Friday Writings #79: Unfinished Projects.

Blooms Out of Every Tempest

not-quite Journaling, 53

a silver lining
blooms out of every tempest
in fiery petals

5/8/2023: A few days of rain left most tulips around my place looking… interesting—the first looks like washed-out flames, the second is hiding under a bush, and the third lost half her clothes. Still, they look pretty; reminding me (and you, if you like) that storms can birth wonders.

 

Normal is impractical,
be you.

5/15/2023: Dictionaries define “normal” as (n.) the usual, average, or typical state or condition; and, (adj.) conforming to a standard, or expected. Well, I don’t know about you, but I doubt that “typical” or “conforming” could even begin to describe the glorious mess that is me, myself, and I. So, my peculiar, my weird, my uncanny and I shall keep delighting in the wondrous strangeness of being all of me.

 

nature never errs,
bolted onions speak of need
for fresh yum in soup

5/17/2023: My wee garden is blooming: the cornflowers, the tomatoes… and sadly, the onions—mood swings in temperature have confused this child of the allium, and caused it to bolt. I nipped the bud to pause the process. That particular onion will season my next pot of broth. The others are growing all right, and will be ready for harvesting in a month or three. What’s growing in your bit of our planet?   

P.S. To the one who has been yapping about my so-called “toxic positivity”, I say that a bit of optimism is never a bad thing. On the other hand, finding fault in someone else’s refusal to give into gloom, well, that can choke a soul to death. So, take a breath… and speak something useful.

 

Comfort is coffee, books,
and you.

5/18/2023: If the page had offered the words, this blackout would’ve included cooking, gardening, walks in the woods, conversation with friends, quiet (and not so quiet) time with my Piano Man, laughing until I cry, productive writing sessions, rain baths in summer, spring blooming, Halloween spookiness, petrichor, the taste of food I’ve grown. I could go on and on… Because living can be rough at times, but filled with delightful bits (that help smooth life’s jagged edges).

- for Poets and Storytellers United--Friday Writings #77: The DJ Sucks.