Wednesday, September 23, 2020

Good Uni-boob Support Is Hard to Find

I hate brassieres and other corporal restraints. No, it is not just because the word brassiere sounds a lot like brazier—which always makes me think of chest meat slow cooking to tender discomfort—but also because brassieres have a you-hate-me-so-I-shall-torture-you relationship with most of the nerves in my back.

Thankfully, the universe in all her wisdom and hunger for balance found it proper to bless my chest with forever 16-year-old boobs. Until I started dancing with my 40s. After that, fate and (one of her cancer goons) trapped me in a dark alley, and loud-whispered in my face, “Your life or your double-boobness, dearie. Which will it be?”

I kept my life and a boob. No, my hatred of brassieres wasn’t reduced by half. It was increased by gazillions, in the sports bra department: good uni-boob support is just so freaking hard to find.    

 

“Single Mastectomy”, by Lissy Love
via 

for Poets and Storytellers United (Weekly Scribblings #38: A Helping String, where Rommy asks us to write while thinking of “things meant only as a temporary or hidden support.”).


29 comments:

  1. Considering how uncomfortable bras can be when they don't fit properly, I imagine it must be hell having to deal with ones not made for a uniboob. Ugh. LOL, though in the time of Corona, we're all a little freer to let it all hang out. Hopefully you don't have to put up with the discomfort of an ill-fitting bra too often, and you have enough decent bras available for those times bras are a must.

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  2. Ha ha, funny of some that is eerily serious. As a male my interests in bras is somewhat different but I've gotten use to them as I've been married 13 + 47 years. I just thought they were underwear until I was in college.
    ..

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  3. I don't hate them; I am good at finding comfortable ones – no underwires, no frills and lace, but glamorous to my mind in black or skin-coloured. Nevertheless, it HAS been wonderful, during the pandemic isolation, to leave them off most days. Good luck for the times you need to wear one!

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    1. Lucky! I wish they weren't so frustrating to wear. I've found one or two I can stand for short periods of time. Guess that will have to be enough.

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    2. Oh, and I have a special kind of hatred for underwire.

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  4. I hate bras too! I had to wear then at school when I got my first tiny boobs but, when I left, I avoided them like the plague until I became pregnant, and my boobs went downhill! I agree about the word ‘brassiere’ sounding like brazier, and that they are implements of torture. I think I have known only two that could be described as comfortable and I wore them out! I hope you find some comfy uni-boob support soon, Magaly.

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    1. I'm the same way, when I find one that doesn't torture I wear them to death. In the past, I would buy as many as the store had. This time they only had two. I'm still looking...

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  5. Great line here "chest meat slow cooking to tender discomfort." Wonderful honest, intimate write.

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  6. I find the best ones are plain old Warner's cotton bras. Nothing fancy or sexy about them, but they're relatively comfortable and give good support. I don't know how they'd be with a uni-boob. Do you fill the "other cup" with something to provide balance? An orange? A mango? Handy for an emergency snack, too.

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    1. Bwahahaha! The biggest problem I have is trying to find bras without patting or without cups. But now that I know of your mango idea, I might go back to cups again!

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  7. I don't like bras...never wear them. I think you made a good decision to lose a breast instead of the alternative. I will do the same if the situation arises.I would think it was unusual not to have a mastectomy if it meant saving your life...but then again I don't know the stats.I wonder why so many women get breast cancer...I dont think it was as prevalent in the past for women...Evidently you can get it even if there is no family history...anyway glad you have recovered...

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    1. I've noticed that the decision to get a mastectomy is as personal and individual as there are personalities and individuals. I've had conversations with women who refuse to get a mastectomy, even after medical recommendations. She just really wanted to keep her breast. I think that the high number of people with breast cancer might be affected by the fact that the world is so polluted and people are living longer. But who knows.

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  8. The beauty of this post is your ability to write and laugh about it to tell it who is boss. Having a wife with cancer some years ago she fought it like a tiger and had many years enjoying life as well and as long as she could.

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    1. If we laugh, we don't scream--or kick people... or bras.

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  9. Cheers! This is totally life affirming. My favorite hour of the day, when I unsnap that ungodly contraption.

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    1. I've found myself practically ripping the thing off, and yelling, "FREEDOM!!!!" more than once. Hehehe.

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  10. No underwires, just comfort and hopefully support. I would think in this day and age, special bras are out there... ? I like your tongue in cheek humor!

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    1. One would think so, but nope. There are bras for women who want to wear a prosthesis, but not for those of us who want to go half flat. I shall continue looking though *fingers crossed*.

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  11. And I thought it was just us "hugeboobied" girls that struggled...Hubby offered to lend me his kneepads once...only once mwahahahaha ;) XXX

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    1. No, the struggle is well distributed. Now I'm imagining you wearing knee pads for bras. Hey, you'd be able to slide on your chest, lol!

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  12. I love the way you wrote this, Magaly. A tongue-in-cheek winner!

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  13. My favorite aunt managed to *look* fairly symmetrical with a pair of socks in one C-cup. How it felt, I never asked. I don't think her generation expected to look good and feel good at the same time.

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  14. I feel for you Magaly! I hate underwires. I have tried them, but nope! Because of the soreness from the gaul bladder, I am wearing a 5 prong warner bra now. Gives me great support in the back and there is no padding in the front. I hope you find something! Maybe I can send you something from Canada? My store sells bras! What are you, like a 36 band? Just need to know the cup! Love you!

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    1. The struggle is quite real! I've found a couple. After trying pretty much every sports bra that seemed that could work, I finally figured out that some XL for girls work fine. They aren't too long on they pinch the nerves on my back or a nerve bundle right under my mastectomy scar. From now on, my sports bras come from the girls' section. And I'm not complaining--they are so much cheaper, lol!

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