Thursday, May 19, 2022

Feeding the Soul

not-quite Journaling, 35

 
“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
~ Oscar Wilde

 black tulips--
real or not, I still
love the dark

5/5/2022: My terrace garden isn’t blooming yet, but the community garden on the back of my building is bursting with tulips. My favorite of the blooms is a dark purple one that looks almost black. I also enjoyed the sight of a luscious (and sexy looking *cough*) pink, and a yellow one with petals outlined in red. Spring rains have bejeweled the whole thing.

 

Broken
things crack
heart and will,
or feed the soul
strength.


5/17/2022: Yesterday, while on the phone with one of my doctors discussing blood, exhaustion, pain tolerance, muscle and bone loss, stubborn patients who refuse to take pain killers *cough*, the importance of the occasional treat, the horrors of unrestful sleep, and NY Comic Con 2022, one of my shelves collapsed under the weight of way too many things, sending succulents and books and trinkets and dirt flying all over the place.

After the shock subsided a bit, I noticed that my pine tree succulent had been dismembered, a doll my friend (Gina) made me had been decapitated, and a glass frog my MIL gave me lost two limbs. I took a few breaths, appeased my doctor… and began tidying up the mess. Then, the sight of my pine tree succulent, crushed under a tiny Oscar Wilde book, made me burst into tears. Once the cleaning (and sobbing) was done, I noticed that my pine tree succulent might not be completely gone (the wee stalk still held half a leaf and the tiniest of shoots cradled in the axil).

It’s been a very hard week, physically and emotionally speaking—the broken shelf, a burn on my arm (which is causing my lymphedema to rebel), and an exasperating interaction with a relative seem to make everything much worse. But my health will improve, the relative in question is out of my life for good, the burn will heal, my Piano Man will repair the shelf, and my plant will survive. Life goes on…

- for Poets and Storytellers United--Friday Writings #27: Watching and Witnessing.

45 comments:

  1. Sorry you have to go through all that. Send you love and light I enjoyed you little gold nuggets of words

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    1. Thanks very much, Marja. I appreciate the gift.

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  2. black tulips--
    real or not, I still
    love the dark

    Oh I love this..can so relate to loving the real or not so real dark!

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    1. I think this is a beautiful haiku too !

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    2. Hang in there Magaly...tulips your little garden and piano man will save the day !

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    3. @Rall, I believe you're correct.

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  3. Troubles abound, tests for us. I'm sorry all this stuff happened to you, Mag, but I'm glad you are sharing. A little bit it all makes me think of mine, bad but not as bad as yours.
    In January I fell and broke my big toe which only calcified and didn't heal. Mrs. Jim and I got the COVID in March, on a cruise ship.
    And my youngest son age 61, broke my google, it took over here, wont let me sign in right so have to be ANONYMOUS NOW.
    I'm glad your piano man cares for you. We have one of those, he fixed a lot of bad or broken, and works for free. I'm glad too that you have a good doctor too.
    Jim
    ..

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    1. I hope that one of these days, all our burdens become less.

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  4. Sounds like it was that one thing that's just TOO much, and it opened the floodgates. Which means it was a good thing really, allowing release and regrouping. I'm glad about the banning of the toxic relative and the various repairs under way.
    One reason I'm late posting my own is that I was counselling a friend last night who had just had the one thing that was TOO much (on top of being flooded 3 times in quick succession, health issues, a toxic family member...). I might show her your post to hearten her.

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    1. I agree with you, Rosemary. I think it was just too much, and exploding was helpful. I hope your friend is doing much better by now.

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  5. I am rooting for that surviving succulent to thrive after its unfortunate accident. May it grow to be as gorgeous as the elfchen you created.

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    1. Alas, the succulent didn't make it. But I'm still kicking!

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  6. Oh, what a difference an attitude can make. What I admire about you Magaly is that though you go through the toughest of circumstances you always end up with a good outlook. It's like a spit in the devil's eye I will not be defeated defiance.

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    1. I always wonder if the universe gave me this attitude because it knew I was going to need it. Whatever the reasons, I am glad.

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  7. I know your pine tree succulent will rise again!

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    1. Nope, it didn't. But I'm trying to grow a new plant from a leaf. Fingers crossed!

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  8. Your ability to write (beautifully) in the midst of Chaos inspires. I am so sorry for your pain, your relative, the collapse of your bookcase, the headless doll ~ thankful for you, your piano man, remnant of the succulent. Cheers ???

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  9. Oh dear seem sporadic collapses are everywhere. I am also a victim. Waiting for the ceiling in my bedroom to be fixed. Yes it collapsed.

    Luv your first tulips haiku

    Much💛love

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    1. Oh, goodness! You had a much more difficult time. Ceilings are expensive to fix. I hope all is well now.

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  10. My heart to yours dear friend. To share your emotions with such elegance. I am in awe of you. Sending healing energy always.

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    1. It's not so hard to do, when so many good friend keep sending us healing energy--thank you so much.

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  11. I was impressed by how well your pine tree looked before I read about what happened. It looks like a survivor. :-)

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    1. The whole tree didn't make it. But I'm currently cloning a new tree from a leaf. Let's hope for the best!

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  12. Oh dear, not the best of weeks, but you remain resilient.
    My good wishes to you.

    All the best Jan

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  13. I love all the tulip colours; your community garden is a marvel. But oh man, the collapse of your shelf... I'm really sorry Maga to hear that you've had a physically and emotionally hard week. Sending you hugs and much love, my friend. <3

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  14. I hope your new week is way much better, that the pine tree succulent will survive, the shelf repaired. We may be down but when we look up there are the stars. Also there's NY Comic Con 2022 to look forward to.

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    1. The tree didn't make it, but the shelf is looking awesome (and reloaded with books and such). And, yes, waiting for Comic Con keeps the motivation levels high.

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  15. What a lot of folderol to keep from being considered Anonymous. Anyway, I'm sorry it's been a rough go for you, Magaly, but your positive attitude and your Piano Man will see you through the rough patch, I'm sure! God bledd!

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  16. Love the tulips! I hope the plant recovers and you feel better.

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    1. The plant didn't recover, but I'm growing a new one--that will have to do.

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  17. What a mess! But isn't there a patron saint for messes (maybe St. Zita)? And aren't you clinging to her? I'm sure you are! Be blessed, Magaly, even in the mess!

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  18. Love the tulip photos! They are stunning. Wishing you health and healing

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  19. So sorry to hear of what you are going through with your health. I send good wishes your way. Love the black tulips, and the fact that you used one of my favorite Oscar Wilde quotes.

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  20. Tulips are my favourite flowers. They are my first feeling of spring and colour after everything has been so dark and cold. (And I love the black ones too!) Sometimes life catches you off guard and the tears fall, but you always seem to find the silver linings.

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    1. Tulips do sing spring songs, don't they? I love how colorful and warm they look.

      Also, thank goodness for silver linings.

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