Friday, December 9, 2022

Of Succulents and Pain

not-quite Journaling, 47

in autumn,
my frizzle sizzle
twists and curls

11/23/2022: I can’t stop whispering “my frizzle sizzle / twists and curls” and cackling. I’m waiting to see my oncologist, some people in the waiting room are giving me funny looks. So I, of course, add a little shoulder dance to “my frizzle sizzle / twists and curls” chant, and cackle a bit louder.  Try it. It’s fun. And if you get funny looks, cackle louder and be merry!

 

Storytelling is the storm that calms
my spirit.

11/28/2022: My OCD therapist and I have been working our way towards Exposure and Response Prevention therapy. We’re taking it slowly—since the last time I went right into it (with a different therapist), my anxiety and nightmares and such… got so bad that I could barely function. We’re doing seemingly small things: not listening to audiobooks 24/7, not ending all my alarms with 13 or 31, not stirring my coffee 13 x 3… It’s not the most comfortable of experiences, but I’m doing it (without screaming or hitting something) and that’s a win. Also, when things get really bad, I can pull myself out of the abyss by writing stories.    

 


11/30/2022: Every now and again, poetry is a tree which grows fire for leaves while refusing to get naked for autumns pleasure. Yep, every tree around this beauty has given in to autumn’s desire for bare limbs, but not this one; its stubbornness blooms warm smiles out of my soul—a good thing on a rainy, chilly day.

 

I will be

a succulent
leaf
--

patient, keeping
in mind healing and growing
dance with time.


12/7/2022: I’ve been on physical therapy for my left and right shoulders for a looooooooooooong time. I tell myself that torn flesh can take months (even years) to mend. And that often does the trick. But when the pain is relentless, when things throb and THROB… it’s much harder to remain patient. Lately, I’ve been trying to do like a succulent, letting time and TLC do their thing… Now, if only this f*cking pain would let me get a full night sleep (or, mayhap, grow some new leaves ).

 

When I remember comfortable,
I sigh.


- Poets and Storytellers United--Friday Writings #56: Cozy.


19 comments:

  1. I now find myself saying
    "frizzle sizzle
    twists and curls"

    Take care, sending my good wishes.

    All the best Jan
    https://thelowcarbdiabetic.blogspot.com/

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  2. Your personal energy is so strong and vibrant, it startles me to know the physical challenges you have, and perhaps even more so to learn that you experience nightmares and anxiety. The realisation doesn't make me doubt your strength and resilience, but it does make me see how much you need them!

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  3. I am pleased you have your writing to help you and your frizzly sizzly curly green things as well. Hang in there ! Rall

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  4. The hammer really struck me. Pun fun. Frizzly sizzly was fun too. What a paradox of challenges and humor you exude.

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  5. That little plant at the top is soo cute - what is it?

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  6. If only we could wave a magic wand and say "pain, begone!" How wonderful life would be then. Someone needs to look into this.

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  7. Liking your "drizzle sizzle" bit. Reminds me of Mark Twain's poem, "Punch brother, Punch -- Punch in the presence of the passengers." I don't think the term, "Ear worm" had been coined yet at that time. His hero passed it to another and it was gone.
    You are the second of our mentors who.needed to say "get naked" in their write. I sure could have used it in my write today when I arrived at the back seat stuff.
    I hope your ails calm down. I've seen three doctors this week and have two more for the coming week. And now a bundle of tests.
    ..

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  8. My hair does that!! The frizz and the sizz made me smile. Succulents are amazing.

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  9. I try to engage in as many cackle inducing situations as often as possible! I hope the exposure therapy is going well for you. *hugs*

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  10. Simply must share the maple in front of our townhome is the only tree in the neighborhood, maybe in our city, that still has most of its leaves. I tell people it's because 'I'm a witch.' They laugh, though I am a good witch. I can visualize you in the oncologist's office and I love what I see. Wishing you a good sleep tonight, pain free.

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  11. Some oak and beech trees keep their leaves glowing all winter. Lovely image from a succulent poet!

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  12. i like the sound of 'frizzle sizzle'. Sounds very lively.
    That is a very lovely stitched poem. I want to read more of your stories, and poetry. :)

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  13. Love your post. Wishing you healing and light :)

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  14. Long may your frizzle sizzle. What a cool plant!

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  15. Plants, poetry, art journaling and magnetic poetry! You seem like a kindred spirit. I am sure these outlets help tremendously.

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  16. I sent you some happy mail....let me know when it arrives so I can be happy too cws XXX

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  17. Love that plant & your storytelling statement. May your pain twizzle and fizzle away. ( Sara)

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  18. I wish you good health Maga, always. Keep telling your stories to calm
    your spirit!

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