Thursday, June 1, 2023

Glimpsing Forget-Me-Nots

not-quite Journaling, 54

5/26/2023: When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my life turned into a series of postponements. Piles of things were dumped on the backburner: writing, business projects, travel, birthdays, anniversaries, other health concerns, emails… I used to think, I’ll do A when B is no longer an issue, or when my body doesn’t hurt so much, or after my sleep is more restful. You know what I figured out? Letting things pile up, in hope for easier days, is a terrible mistake. I’m so behind on everything that I would burst into manic laughter, if I had time for hysterics. But I don’t. So, I’ll just take a deep breath (or 50), do some serious reprioritizing, and get things done as efficiently and promptly as I can. Freaking out about things I can’t control would just be another mistake.

 


5/30/2023: There is a wet rumble in my chest. My nose is full of best-left-undescribed yuck. And while my skull and joints consider the merits of imploding or exploding (my OCD hopes for the latter, less cleanup), my scratchy eyes glimpse the forget-me-not I planted last winter. All isn’t even close to well; but the tiny smile the sight blooms, out of my exhausted self, says that all isn’t exactly bad.

 

6/1/2023: A not-so-helpful health coach manexplained to me that “chronic fatigue is a clear sign that a person isn’t eating healthy, resting enough, or exercising”. Since I had already used all my maniacal cackles spoons for the week, I just stared at him unblinkingly for an unconformably long moment… and then scribbled this poem. Besides, I would’ve hated to waste a proper burst of maniacal cackles on an idiot. I save my glorious cackles for people I like. Muahahahahaha!


- Poets and Storytellers United--Friday Writings #79: Unfinished Projects.

18 comments:

  1. I think there are times when postponement is the only intelligent – or even possible – option! After that, some things might show up as unnecessary after all. For the rest, it's amazing what 10 minutes at a time can accomplish. (I speak as one much practised in procrastination!) Looking at flowers is of course one of the essentials, best not postponed.

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  2. "not wanting something/ won't make it vanish"... so right.. you're on point about reprioritizing when it's just not possible to catch up with everything. And I can confirm that health coach has clones everywhere... I got a lot of "helpful" advice when I came out of surgery.

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  3. Gotcha, Magaly. But from reading your progress diary here I think you have passed A and B a long, long ways. Point Z now is wearing down, time to get started. I'm sort of that way but circumstances are beginning to come active for some new pages of my life.
    Excellent prompt idea, I even had my first two lines to mark my initial predicaments.
    ..

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  4. A health coach who doesn't understand what chronic fatigue is? Yikes!

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  5. Long haulers are helping people understand chronicle fatigue better. Some people still think it just means you are sleepy. Flowers and birds are my medicines these days.

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  6. 5/26 Trust me I understand how things pile up when one's mind is focused on a huge overwhelming issue (s), but I also know you are grateful issue B is at rest. Thats a start. UGOGIRL! xo

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  7. Although we rarely admit it, all any of us have for certain is this, hopefully reoccurring, second right now. Your words ring true: "Letting things pile up, in hope for easier days, is a terrible mistake."

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  8. What an absolute Dick! I guess "teaching Dick a lesson in real life " is just another thing for your "to do" list ...but a deliciously naughty one to simmer slowly and smirk about in quiet moments cws. XXX

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  9. UGH, what a jerk he is! I know what exhaustion is and I am SUPER thankful that I don't know chronic fatigue up close and personally. LOL, I have seen you use The Look on people like that, so I imagine he shut up soon after.

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  10. Sitting here quite certain I hear your 'glorious cackles' absolutely convinced you like me. 'Muahahahahaha!' First image is magnet fridge worthy.

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  11. May your blue forget me nots bring you a slice of happiness along with your mad cackles!......Cressida

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  12. I think sometimes there's really no choice to postpone some things, if there's too much on the plate. There's maybe even a need to abandon some projects for the moment.
    I can just imagine that stare you gave to that health coach.

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  13. I do think that nature the flowers, trees etc can be a helpful medicine for our wellbeing.
    Sending my good wishes.

    All the best Jan
    https://thelowcarbdiabetic.blogspot.com/

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  14. I must say your episode with the health coach is hilarious, some aren't worth the time for a reaction 🤣

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  15. So much to contend with health wise...*sigh. I'm taking a deep breath (or 50) with you. And may glimpsing at those lovely forget-me-nots continue to brighten your days. <3

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  16. I love your attitude, Magaly, so wise and intuitive. Totally agree. Sometimes you have to grit your teeth and get on with stuff. One thing at a time. (and there'll always be some nuisance mansplainer, best ignored!) Loved reading your journal entry, very life-affirming :-)

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  17. I love the idea of re-prioritizing, and looking at the life of flowers.

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  18. Friday June 9 Where did the week go? I will have to play that catch-up game. We all must, or we wither like an unwatered flower in the sun.

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