Thursday, December 16, 2021

Hoping for Pain-less

not-quite Journaling, 25

on top of the world,
waiting for the next lifequake—
ROAR at the ready

12/9/2021: When one has been chronically ill for what seems like forever, it’s hard not to be hypervigilant about one’s health. Not so paranoid that one doesn’t enjoy life, but watchful enough to avoid getting kicked in the teeth by all the random new f*ck yous the chronic illness monster chooses to throw one’s way. The monster’s latest kick got me in the liver and the gallbladder. Or, at least, that’s what we’re hoping. Because if it also got me in the duodenum (more tests shall tell), then my crohnie behind will probably be in real trouble. End of Venting (for now).  

 

Pain is hungry,
feed it wild art
.


12/13/2021: Pain is a demanding, hungry (and very much unwanted) guest. If we don’t feed its petulance, it just gets louder and more annoying. I feed my pain stories and poems, gardening and cooking, gossipy conversations with friends. Today, I’m going to feed it some house cleaning.

* The bit at the bottom, with the wee flowers and breast cancer ribbon, is a cutting from a painting, by Victoria Ramdass, in CONQUER: the patient voice).

 

12/15/2021: Nature’s feeling… off; her moods are wild (tornadoes in Kentucky, mudslides in California, pink periwinkles blooming around a New York City hospital courtyard). I want to delight in December’s spring blooms, but the timing is troubling; nature’s feeling… off.

 

2021:
I wish to call you a blur,
but flesh-screams aren’t quick


the background is from a photo by Camila Quintero Franco, on Unsplash

12/16/2021: When asked to describe 2021 in just one word, a friend of mine said, “blur”; then she asked me, “Don’t you think so?” After considering the question for a wee bit, I shook my head. Because for me, the one word that describes 2021 is pain: feeling pain, managing pain, eating foods that decrease pain, finding useful things to do with pain… Yep, the pain’s the word. I am so hoping that 2022 will tag a ‘less’ at the end of my pain.

 
- for Poets and Storytellers United--Friday Writings #7: Dear 2021…


41 comments:

  1. Gosh! I hope that for you too! Meanwhile, I like your strategies, and the places where you find release .. and the art that you make.

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    1. I join my hope to yours, my sweetest Rosemary!

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    2. And may our world be full of places that offer release.

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  2. All I want for Christmas for you is better health! Deliver it, Santa!

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    1. You know, I think he heard you. I've had some really good days.

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  3. I am hoping that for you too XXX
    I don't know what is happening (other than planet earth is giving us all a good "shake down") but I too have been watching the out of sync flowerings and baby birdlings in my garden still. What one word would describe 2021 for me???? "Complicated"...."Confusing"....or "submission"
    For the first time in my life I had to give in to peer pressure (which I see as bullying). So 2021 has definitely made me feel old and helpless, which I refuse to accept!!! Bring it on 2022 XXX

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    1. 2021 was an exhausting year. I think 2020 set the stage and 2021 did the kicking. The world is messy. Most of us feel old and helpless (and full of screams). 2022 better be better!!!

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  4. Gosh, Madaly, I had been thinking you were through with and coming out of pain. I hadn't taken you off my prayer list though. My pain is mild compared to what you have been fighting and coping with for so long. I do have an abdominal pain that started in 2001. Doctors I go to can't figure it out, once I had to go to the emergency room for it. It started driving down a mountain in St. Lucia, I thought it was a trouble with my AAA stent graft repair but it wasn't. That started to leak a few years ago but no pain and my cardiologist did a ceramic wrap repair which has held for a few years now. You are right about the reckless folk, now the COVID-19 deaths are mostly the unvaccinated killing other unvaccinated. 1 of 500 US folk have died from it, 1 of 100 of us "elderly" over age 60. We've lost three in our close family, several in the cousins, etc.
    Hang tight!!! (Hawaiian greeting) I'm wishing you and your folk a Merry Christmas and a Happy New 2022 Year!!
    Thank you for the nice prompt and for hosting.
    ..

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    1. I hope 2022 brings better things for us all, Jim!

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  5. "I feed my pain stories and poems, gardening and cooking, gossipy conversations with friends..." Just so you know, those stories and poems reach across long distances and feed other pains and aches too... wishing you a painless 2022, exactly the way you want it to be!

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  6. No one is as good as you are at finding ways to get through. I hope 2022 brings better health to you and much less pain overall.

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  7. Here too the weather is crazy. So much rain in December

    Stay Safe
    Happy Holidays

    Much💟love

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  8. Your art is beautiful.Please God take Magaly's pain away. You are very brave.Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours.

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    1. Thank you so much for the wishes. May 2022 be kinder to us all.

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  9. I may, or may not, have had a successful comment post .... here goes again. Never thought about the concept of 'feeding' pain things it could possibly enjoy ~ quite brilliant. Sending good tidings of peace and joy to you and Piano Man this Holiday Season.

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    1. If we can't make pain go away completely, might as well keep it happy.

      I hope 2022 is full of wonder.

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  10. I love these:

    “Pain is hungry,
    feed it wild art.”

    “I wish to call you a blur,
    but flesh-screams aren’t quick”

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  11. "Pain is hungry,
    feed it wild art."


    Yes, pain will want to chew on you, so feed it some wild art! show it some drawings and colors, write and read some poems. keep it quiet.

    Wishing you and your family the best of health in the coming year.
    Happy Holidays!

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    1. I hope 2022 is much kinder than 2021 to us all!

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  12. Pain is hungry, indeed. Here's to feeding it wild art, and keeping faith that 2022 will bring much needed relief.

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  13. I do hope your pain blurs into the distance in this new year and that your art continues to flourish. Everything is so upside down and sideways. My azaleas look like they want to pop.

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    1. We are supposed to get 5 inches of snow tomorrow. And earlier today, I saw a sweet William blooming in a bed of mostly dead leaves. It's just unsettling.

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  14. Nice work, just like all your work this year Guerrero, may 2022 just fly to the moon! Peace and joy at this turning of the year!

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    1. Thanks very much, Rob. Hope 2022 is good to you.

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  15. I hope so too. 2021 feels like a blur, mostly, to me.

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  16. oh magaly, i'm so sorry to hear about this, and i can relate, 2020 was my year of pain. as soon as we went into lock down i started experiencing severe abdominal pain. turns out it was a hernia and gallbladder stones. it took nearly six months to get the right diagnosis, and another four months before i could have surgery. so i get it i really do. i hope you find relief soon, praying for you.

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    1. A hernia and gallstones at the same time? Ouch! I hope all is well now. I'm hoping I can deal with mine without surgery. I'm a bit tired of surgeries.

      May 2022 be our year of relief!

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  17. Prayers coming your way sweet magaly

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  18. I hope you find a pain-less 2022 as well. I enjoy your "wild art" although inspired by pain.

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  19. Good read. May 2022 lessen your pain and help you be happy.

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    1. Thank you so much! May your 2022 be exactly as you want it.

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