Thursday, April 21, 2022

Writing My Medicine

not-quite Journaling, 33

Still no sun,

skies and streets are puddles

of gloomy gray.

But deep in the hearth,
amaryllis rebels
in wild bursts of color.

4/7/2022: The weather is… wet, too chilly for outside gardening. But Ms. Amaryllis keeps things interesting—the mother plant and all of her offspring (I’ve been propagating) are blooming. And they’re doing it about 2 weeks apart, which means that I’ll have something bright and warm to look forward to (even if the weather is gloomy and the oral surgeon is planning tooth torture).

 

4/9/2022: Living with a collection of chronic illnesses makes everything harder, including relationships. I’ve heard heartbreaking stories--lovers who tire of caregiving and want out, lovers who stop seeing lovers as such and spend their time trying to “fix” them… I tell my Piano Man just how special he is, because he always sees me as I am: a strong, wild, sexy, witchy woman who happens to live with a chronic illness (or 3). My Piano Man shakes his head, and says, “That’s what people do when they love another.” I kiss him, and thank the universe for my good fortune.   

 

4/21/2022: I slept through the night for the first time since the 6th. My body isn’t as healthy as it can get (not yet), but I can breathe… I don’t cough the moment I try to talk or eat or lie down, my eyes aren’t inflamed, I can taste my food, my chest doesn’t hurt, colorful fluids are no longer coming out of places one doesn’t even want to imagine, I can do some cleaning (and gardening!), and I have the time (and strength) to share my words, read your words, spell some healing. 

- for Poets and Storytellers United--Friday Writings #23: Write Your Medicine.


41 comments:

  1. Such a wondrously affirmative post! With such fervour, we know you really mean it, to the depths of your soul. I especially love the defiant poem! I'm sure the garden helps, and clearly the Piano Man is a treasure ... above all, I think YOU are your own soul medicine.

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    1. "YOU are your own soul medicine." I like that very much, and believe it to the bone.

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    2. And yes, my Piano Man is my most precious jewel.

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  2. I love the amaryllis being the thing of beauty that sustains you and the love and support of your dear piano man. Take care...keep getting better... Spring will be there soon.

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    1. I've been trying, with different levels of success. Summer is here now. The heat, the blooming garden are helping too.

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  3. Thanks, I needed that. The way you see the world, as only a poet does, is inspiring. Love that image of promised bloom.

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  4. I'm going to remember your quote "he always sees me..." That is such an affirming message. I love your strong spirit, inspirational words and confidence.

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    1. I am glad you are holding on to those words. I do, too. We are extra lucky when those around us see us as we are... and love us anyway.

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  5. Every word of your post, the poetry, the updates, the Piano Man accolades (deserved) made my heart soar. OH, Ms. Amaryllis too. Feel better and better and better.

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    1. I am so glad, my precious Helen. And I shall continue my way (fight?) towards feeling a bit better everyday. Your encouragement helps.

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  6. Not fair all the sun is here. Slurped up my well and cant even water plants until it rains again. Send some here. We need it badly. I have planted sunflowers. Ill send you some seeds if you want because I think soon your patio will be full of old Sol. xo A hex on the oral surgeon.

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    1. Oooh! I bet your sunflowers are looking all glorious now. I planted mine a few weeks ago, and they are just starting to bud.

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  7. Witchy women of the world unite! Cheers for you! COVID go home!

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  8. On the upside now!!! I am glad for you. And I enjoy always reading your health and medicine oriented journal.
    I can remember back when I could sleep through the night. Not doing so started with an injured shoulder, my sleeping one, that would wake me up with pain after a couple of hours. I soothed and perhaps healed it with drinking Diet Coke. The Aspertane helps some, nearly half, with joint pain.
    ..

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    1. I hope your body is being good to you these days, Jim.

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  9. Sadly I sometimes view myself as just a collection of health issues! You are so inspiring in your fiery will!

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    1. I hope that one day, yo can see yourself as the glorious soul you are... who happens to be living with a collection of health issues.

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  10. I can hear the roar in the last one. May it be so!

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  11. Take care, and get better soon.
    You have your Piano Man, and Ms. Amaryllis. Spring and the sun will be here. :)

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  12. I relate to you on every level of this post. It is rainy, gloomy and cold here. My body thinks it can run me with pain and agony. Mr. T. and I have been caregivers to each other for 40 years. We have also seen spouses leave because they couldn't handle it. I say shame on them for being selfish but I have also seen the ones who stayed and found abuse. So for all we go through thank the gods for the Piano Man and Mr. T. Sending healing energy to you.

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    1. I can be a terrible dance, having so many painful health issues. Thank goodness we are lucky enough to be able to find strength in our situation. I, too, have seen caregivers friends treated like crap by selfish people living with chronic illness. I've never been able to understand them. Someone who suffers so much all the time should never wish that level of pain--physical or emotional--for another.

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  13. I love the strength and firmness of your words, and the joyful images they have me imagine. Thank you very much. :-)

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  14. Wow some treasures to read I loved each one of them Sorry to hear you're not well Take care

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  15. Maga, your affirming post touches me greatly. Health has been a challenge in my home, too. And what your Piano Man says,“That’s what people do when they love another.” holds true. Thank you always for your gift of words. May writing continue to be the medicine!

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    1. I hope things are better at your home today. And I wish the same for you, when it comes to healing words.

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  16. You are as defiant as your amaryllis against a cloud-filled sky.

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  17. I wish I had eyes that could always see someone not as a puzzle, but as a heart to love...

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    1. You and me both. I hope that living with my Piano Man will teach me how.

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  18. Your Piano Man is wonderful.

    All the best Jan

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