Friday, July 22, 2022

I Can Use a Spark

not-quite Journaling, 38

7/3/2022: The first passionflower of the season is finally showing her colors and curls. I opened the bedroom window, and the bloom hit my senses like a double blessing: the scent is deliciously sweet and the fact that I can smell it properly is even sweeter (since it tells me that my COVID symptoms are going bye-bye). Soon, my Piano Man and I will be able to leave the apartment!

 

7/19/2022: After I left the military, a handful of good friends and I started a virtual news trivia group. We were avid NPR listeners, while in the Marine Corps, so the trivia group felt like a nice way to stay connected. The group has remained unchanged for 15 years. Two weeks ago, one of the friends stopped interacting. I was worried, so I’ve been emailing her. She finally replied today, just eleven words, to say: “I don’t dare the news anymore. I just can’t unsee it.”


more photos here

7/22/2022: New York City is hot enough to melt all desire for walking outside. My wee garden (and my not-so-wee hot flashes) are not enjoying the latest heatwave. Everything planted in small or medium pots requires watering twice a day. The same goes for the tomatoes and the corn, even though they’re growing in fairly ginormous pots—they just love water. On the flesh and body side of my life equation, I still can’t shake the fatigue that has been plaguing me for weeks and weeks. I try to rest more and exercise less, but… no joy. My doctor thought B-12 injections might help, but I haven’t noticed any change. I don’t mind the physical tiredness so much—pain and weariness and I have been dancing this dance for a very long time—but the constant fatigue is starting to affect my creative juices. That last bit scares me. I’m not frightened by much. Not being able to read and write and reason at my usual levels leaves me shaking in my combat boots. But enough of that. Tell me something fun and/or exciting. My exhausted flesh and bones and mind can use a spark.

- for Poets and Storytellers United--Friday Writings #36: Sunset.

33 comments:

  1. Lovely not-quite-journal. I can relate to that news trivia friend's experience, unfortunately. Hope you feel fully better soon.

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    1. Thank you for the feel better wishes.

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    2. And sadly, it seems to many of us can relate to my friend these days--the world is a mess.

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  2. Decades ago I grew a passion plant that sprawled out into my yard. It was huge. People would stop to take photos of it. I love this plant. I didn't know were in the Marines. My SIL 23 years, he is about to retire. Semper Fi my friend. I agree, I have stopped watching the news as well. I just catch the highlights. You garden is doing well for all the heat. Is this fatigue from long term covid? I hope not. Something wonderful for your spirits. Even with all the troubles in the world, I know there are angels around you. They watch over you and touch your cheek when you sleep.

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    1. Passion flower plants are gorgeous. The flowers and leaves make good tea, too. My garden is very small, so I can water it enough (and open umbrellas over it) when things get crazy. People with bigger gardens aren't so lucky. May the universe watch over all of us.

      Semper Fi!

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  3. Corn even! love to imagine your garden. I ate my first ears yesterday (not like van Gogh's). If I can get to the pool, it helps my fatigue. If I can muster the energy to go!

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    1. Only plants of strawberry popcorn. They ears are tiny. They are starting to dry now. I will probably get a couple of cups of popcorn, but it will be glorious!

      I haven't been in a pool in ages, but it would sure be nice...

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  4. Sorry to hear that fatigue is sapping your creative energy as well. That sucks. I hope some kind of improvement is on the horizon for that!

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    1. Things are getting better. Not perfect. But better.

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  5. May your passion for living increase with each new passion flower that unfolds!

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  6. I think you have post-COVID carryovers. Mrs. Jim sleeps a lot, in the daytime too. We both have trouble remembering, she has more breathing problems, and I can't taste or smell, and still have quite a bit of phlegm. Mid-March we came down with it.
    Are you growing corn on your balcony? You are just ready to leave the apartment, we are about ready to downsize into an apartment.
    I didn't know you'd been in the service. Career with retiremnet? I was in the Army for five years, learned electronics, radar, and computers for NIKE Fire Control Maintenance from a 43 week school. My experience and the school with good grades, 3rd in class, qualified this college dropout with an Engineering job, I became an Aerospace Engineer. Later if finished and went beyond using my GI Bill. You? Mine paid for my junior and senior college year and the first half of Law School.
    ..
    Jim,
    jimmiehov6.blogspot.com
    ..
    ..

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    1. I was in the Marine Corps for about a decade. I got out when my hip and shoulder started acting up. I figured that if I was going to be in that much pain, I might as well do it while getting another college degree. The GI Bill was good to me. It paid for Social Psychology and Creative Writing degrees.

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  7. oh that passion flower is gorgeous. I am the same with the news. Had enough of it. Sorry about your fatique I struggled a lot with that because of thyroid problems in the past so know how you feel. Take care

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    1. She's a total looker, and she knows it. :-)

      I hope your thyroid issues are now gone. And that the same becomes true of my troubles... eventually.

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  8. Your garden is AMAZING! I am excited about poetry going to the moon. In one respect it seems silly and pointless – but also quixotic and crazily hopeful.

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    1. I think that in this mess that is our world, poetry going to the moon is a very nice thing.

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  9. Love your newsy post. I take great joy in your little garden. Hint for hot weather. Mix fresh orange juice and lemon barley cordial together Put in ice cube tray and freeze....yummy ice blocks. Stay safe. Hope you feel better when the weather cools a bit. Keep a spray bottle of water and spray behind your knees....this works.

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    1. Thank you! I make melon and lime popsicles. Yummy and refreshing.

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  10. The anonymous comment was from Cressida. The one re ice blocks and knees:)

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  11. It's good to hear the COVID symptoms have eased up, even if you still can't shake the great fatigue. I wouldn't worry much about the creative juices, they will return when your body and mind are ready. Enjoy the break and look after yourself. Wishing you, your Piano Man and family good health, always. <3

    As for news, it's downright depressing. I totally get people who don't dare watch, anymore. But I like to keep abreast of the current happenings, especially with the ongoing war nearby.

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    1. Things are much better now. Still slow, but much better. Maybe I will get lucky, and they will continue to be.

      About the news, I find myself listening to snippets. Some days, I don't want to face all the details.

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  12. It's good to hear that you are on the mend. With the passionflower blooming, it can only get better.
    I still keep up with the news, from all sorts of sources, the trick is to filter out the lies and misinformation. Also, the South China Sea, my part of the world, is a potential flashpoint. :(

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    1. The filtering gets harder and harder everyday...

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  13. Oh my. Something fun, something exciting is a tall order ... ok. I awakened this morning, walked out front door to retrieve paper ... gathered on my front sidewalk and driveway munching away at whatever looked nutritious were eight deer. Deer absolutely entrance and delight me, they always have.
    Now to the serious stuff, my sister had Covid in March of 2021 and still has lingering fatigue, some problems projecting her voice. I fervent desire for you ... to be well, no fatigue, no anything but the ability to walk, breathe, write, read, sing, dance, love.

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    1. I haven't seen a dear in a very long time. They are gorgeous creatures, indeed.

      I hope your sister is getting better. I'm still having certain issues, but others seem to be improving. There shall be dancing and loving and the rest!

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  14. What a beautiful passionflower that is.
    Pleased to read that your Covid symptoms are easing.

    All the best Jan
    https://thelowcarbdiabetic.blogspot.com/

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  15. The passionfruit flower looks lovely. I am seeing a play about witches with my friend on the weekend.

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  16. Something fun...Well, if it can ever be pulled together, the "Store Front" ministry I'm supposed to be the manager of should be the most fun my town's had since the movie theatre fire. Nice quiet place for shopping, networking, meeting with recovery buddies during business hours; lectures, classes, music or stand-up comedy in evenings. Lots of small-town political drama because the minister wants to put this in what the town's biggest investors wanted to make a "boutique district." Poets, storytellers, and musicians will be invited to discover my impossible little town, if we can get this going.

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    1. It sounds wonderful! I hope more and more people join in.

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