Thursday, June 6, 2024

Pain Isn’t Gentle…

not-quite Journaling, 70

undear Instagram,
your updates suck rotten toes;
bring back recent posts

4/19/2024: My chronic pain group was asked to write about something that made our lives more difficult in a personal level. When I said that I was broken up over Instagram removing the recent posts filter, someone gave me a disdainful look and said some unflattering things about “[my] first world problem”. I wasn’t in the best of moods--I’d spent half the night puking, a migraine was threatening to pop my left eyeball, and my torn back muscle had rejoined the agony party--so, I might’ve told them to f*ck off. With feeling. I know, overreaction galore. But it was a crappy day quickly turning into a crappy week. My brain-to-mouth filter doesn’t work particularly well under those conditions.


climate change killing

5/5/2024: I’ve never seen these wee beauties in my bit of New York City. They are known by many names (Scilla luciliae, violet beauty), Lucile’s-glory-of-the-snow is my favorite. The combination makes me think of brightness and warmth. Also, it’s the perfect name for a flower that blooms from frosty February to still chilly March (or all the way into May… when the weather’s slightly mad).


in a tiny pot,
my wee orange seedling sprouts
cuteness overload

5/13/2024: I can’t look at this green baby without blooming into smiles. 🌱🥰🌱

thorns & curls
in my wee garden,
soothing green

5/15/2024: I love the twists and coils, the play of green and metal, the thorns and stones and warmth--soothe for the soul.


In flesh and bone, pain
wails misery
s old song;
in soil, Nature
(and I)
bloom cornflowers,
spirit balm,

5/26/2024: Chronic pain and I have been fighting over my body for weeks. I haven’t landed many punches, not until last night--I slept six hours straight! and woke up to a balcony bursting with bachelor’s buttons. Small steps, right? Then, a glorious kick to the teeth. Yes, I’m talking to you, Chronic Pain Bastard.


Pain isnt gentle,
so I must be
hard--grab it by the throat
and squeeze
poetry out of every scream.

I can bear any pain as long as it has meaning.
~ Haruki Murakami, 1Q84

for Poets and Storytellers United (Friday Writings #130: About that Quote…Friday Writings #130: About that Quote…)


  1. What a wise flow of words - and I love the images too - Jae

  2. The Murakami quote casts such a light on it- hopefully squeezing poetry out of pain provides comfort at some level. Wish you feel better soon... (oh and love that orange sprout in that baby pot)

  3. Your garden not only provides solace and joy to you, but also nourishes us when you share it in these exactly crafted images and verses.

    Cornflowers have been a favourite of mine since my childhood. And yes, that sprout is indeed a cuteness overload!

    Do people who sneer at other people's problems feel superior in doing so? It appears this person was living in the so-called First World herself right alongside you. Pain is pain, wherever it happens; and when it restricts one's life, any window on the world and connection to other people is vital. Those who cannot empathise with that probably don't really feel any deep sympathy for 3rd world problems either.

  4. Gardens are the center of life - all of life happens there - Life is full of pain - We are born in pain - Well done

  5. Sorry to hear about your pain and that you have to struggle so badly. I think your F off was appropriate. I love your last poem Very powerful and poignant

  6. These are all delightful, tender and very powerful Magaly. Such healing balm your spirit so generously offers us all. In return sending you all the healing energies I can summon.. Bless you...

  7. Pain is never good. This writing comes from the heart.

  8. You made your case, and perhaps mine. I've had almost constant pain forr the last month at least. Today I was refered to a pain doctor but warned one that I find will be booked up for quite a while.

  9. Uugh - so sorry to hear you are suffering. But 6 hours of straight sleep is pretty great.

  10. So sorry to read about the pain you are experiencing, but six hours of straight sleep sounds good.
    Sending healing and positive thoughts across the miles to you.

    All the best Jan


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